This Sunday will be our last Sunday at our church.  I'm a little nervous about it.  I'm sure my husband is also.  I think he's a little bit glad/relieved but also nervous. 

I personally am nervous about how hard it will be to say goodbye to friends that we have come to know and love.

We both will feel relief because we will be done with the drama.  (At least that particular drama, LOL!)

We are also nervous because we have no idea what we are going to do for income.  I mean, I have my job, but it's not enough to pay all of our bills and pay for groceries and gas etc. 

I know (that I know, that I know!) that my Lord will come through for us.  He has never let us down, but I am just afraid that I will let us down.  By not managing the money like I should.  I am wishing now that I had put money back for a rainy day, because the sky is starting to get pretty dark!

I am trying to figure out what I can do to rearrange our bills so that we can be caught up and ahead a little bit.  Financially right now if y'all would look at my check book and bills you would be worried for me as well!  LOL  But, I am praying and I think I have figured out a way to help us out a little and get us ahead.

Pray for us as you read this and I will try to keep this blog updated as we get prospective ministry positions.

Sick

I'm not physically sick, but I am mentally sick and tired of politics and manipulations in the church!  The church does not belong to any individual, it doesn't belong to me, it doesn't belong to you, it belongs to our Father.  And when I say our Father I'm not talking about an earthly father who put his blood, sweat and tears into the building of the facility.  I'm talking about our Heavenly Father, you know the One we are there to worship in the first place?

It seems as though ever since my husband gave his resignation, the claws have come out.  There has been alot of things going on behind the scenes.  People seem to think that they have to manipulate a situation and work behind the scenes so that it will work out the way they think it should.  Why?  What gives them the right?  If it was meant to be for them to be in a certain position or what have you, then it will work out.  What ever happened to having faith?

Anyways, we've just got a couple more weeks and I am praying for the church and what is going to happen after we leave.  There are just a few that will stand on the Word of God and go by that book.  The Bible is a guideline for the church and for our lives.  It's not multiple choice.

16 more days...

Well, only 16 more days until our last Sunday at Little Rock.  I know Bryan is getting nervous.  I can totally understand that.  He wants to be the provider and all that good stuff but he's going to be without paycheck until God leads us somewhere.  I know God will provide and we will be okay, we might not have everything we want but we will be okay.  He has always taken care of us and He has brought us through some pretty rough times!

Of course seminary is another option that he's looking into.  Or at least praying about.  There are several options for seminary so he is praying about which one the Lord is leading him into.  And of course I'm praying as well.  My main focus right now is going to be on the kids.  I want them to be okay and this transition for them to go as smoothly as possible.  They have signed up for fall sports so that will keep them busy and give them something to look forward to. 

On another note, fall is starting to creep into the air.  The mornings are a little bit cooler and I love it.  I can't wait for fall, it's my favorite time of year.  I love the colors with the leaves changing and the cooler temperatures.  It would be even prettier in the mountains!  I would so love to take a trip to the mountains in a couple of months.  But, I don't see that happening! 

Well, it has been a week since DH announced is resignation.  We will have a called conference tonight to form a pulpit committee.  Some folks who weren't at conference last Wednesday have heard the news and expressed their sadness.  Some are hoping we will change our minds. 

It's funny knowing that we won't be there anymore after September 4.  It's good in some ways and then it's sad too.  It's kind of a relief knowing that we won't have to deal with the issues much longer but then it's sad knowing that they will probably go back to some of their old ways too. 

We met with a couple Saturday morning for breakfast, they are our Associational Missionaries and they gave us a lot of ideas and things that they've been praying about concerning us and our ministry.  DH is still praying about what to do.  I have a feeling that the Lord is dealing with him on something but he's not telling me much about it. I could be totally off base, but if I'm right we could be in for some REAL change very soon!

Keep praying for us.  I want to do whatever our Father wants us to do and I want to make a difference! 

Okay, so the announcement has been made and as you might have guess by now my husband gave his resignation to the church last night.  This was not an easy decision for us to make.  The Lord has been dealing with us for several months (both of us).  I was praying about it and not saying anything to DH while he was praying about it and not saying anything to me.  When he finally mentioned to me how he was feeling a few weeks ago, I told him how I had been praying about the same thing.  The Lord has a way of preparing our hearts for things ahead of time.

So, we will continue to serve at our current church for 30 days.  September 4 will be our last Sunday there. It is exciting and scary at the same time because we know the Lord has led us to this decision and that he will open a door for us to serve him somewhere but until then not knowing is scary and the financial aspect of it is real scary.  But, my faith is strong and I know without a doubt that the Lord will take care of us.  He always has!

Telling the church last night was hard for DH and it was hard for me too.  I was so nervous!  Some people in the congregation were upset but some people were (probably) happy about it.  I'm thankful for the experience of serving the Lord at this church and I pray that the next Pastor they have there will be what they need to grow spiritually.  I pray that I will grow spiritually as well during this transition.  

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Needing Prayer

Today I need y'alls prayers.  I'm just trying to stay busy at work to keep my mind off of things. 

Tonight is our monthly conference in which my husband will make an announcement.  Although I know this is God's will I am very nervous about how the church is going to respond and also where God is going to send us.  I'm excited and scared at the same time.

If anyone is reading this, please pray for me and especially for my husband today!

Things that I would do differently:

I haven't been a PW very long but I do have a list of things that I would do differently if I had known then what I know now.  There are some things that I'm glad that I did or did not do (things that I actually did right!).  Of course hindsight is 20/20.  I'm not posting this to have myself a pity party or anything like that.  But, I think by posting this I can help someone else not make the same mistakes that I have made or help myself in the future to remember these things.

1. I would have guarded my heart more and kept myself prayed up more so that I would be strong enough to face tough times.

2. I would have put some money back (there rarely is any extra to put back) for hard times.

3. I would not have felt like it is my duty to jump in and do the things that nobody else wants to do.  (There was even a time in our church when I really wished I could play the piano so that we didn't have to have song services without music and I bought a book "Piano for Dummies"!  LOL)

4. I would have sheltered my children more although I have tried to do this a pretty good bit. 

5. I would have prayed about it more before jumping into things (and this includes everything, not just the church).

It's not a really long list but I am sure there are other things that I could think of if I tried.  I just felt the need to post this.  Not sure why.

This is going to be a stressful week, actually a stressful month.  Please if anyone is out there reading this, please pray for our family this week.  I previously posted that my husband and I have been praying about a decision.  Well, the decision has been made and confirmed in our hearts.  Everyone else will find out what that decision is Wednesday night at our monthly conference. 

God has been preparing our hearts for this for a while and I feel peace with this decision.

I've been reading more in my Mary and Martha book.  I wanted to share this excerpt from the book:
Chapter 7, The Better Part

The author, Joanna Weaver is talking about her 30-something birthday.  She received a card from a friend and on the front of the card is a picture of a woman in the 1950s with about 8 or 9 hoola hoops swinging around her waist.  She compared herself to the woman in the picture.  The hoola hoops representing everything she was juggling in her life.

     "Then it dawned on me - I saw her secret. "She found a rhythm," I whispered to myself. "She established her center, then let everything move around that."
     That's exactly what I wasn't doing in my life.  All the things I'd been trying to accomplish were important, but I had lost my center. Busy being busy, I'd forgotten to tend to my inner self, the spiritual me. Like a wheel without an axle, I'd careened through life, bouncing off one duty and onto another.
     If there was an adequate pause, I'd spend some time with the Lord. But lately, more often that not, my busy days had slipped by without a quiet time. And my life was revealing what my spirit had missed.
     "Teach me Lord.  Show me the rhythm of life," I found myself praying.
     "Be my center."

Wow! That is where I am now!  That needs to be my motto.  "Teach me Lord, be my center!"