We have had a rough week this week.  For some reason Matthew has had even more separation anxiety issues this week.  He doesn't want me to leave in the mornings and the one day that I went home for lunch he didn't want me to leave to go back to work.  It only took me one time to learn that I don't need to go home for lunch anymore (at least not this week). 

Matthew has been grounded from the X-box (which is his obsession) for a month and today is the day he gets it back.  So, of course this morning that is all he talked about. Which got him into trouble with his Daddy.  Bryan can't stand the thought of the X-box because of Matthew being so obsessed with it.  I am hoping that after a month away from it, and if we keep a tight leash, we can minimize the obsession a little bit this time.  Circumstances are a little bit different now.  When we took the X-box away, it wasn't long after his surgery.  A lot has changed since his surgery.  Bryan thinks alot of the change we've seen is because we took away the X-box.  I really don't know but I think the only way we are going to know for sure is to give it back to him and see how he does.

Next week is the CRCT.  We have to go to Jesup every day to take it.  I am pretty nervous about it. I'm really not sure how nervous Matthew is. I hope he does okay when it actually comes time for the test.  My biggest worry is that he is going to freeze up and he will take forever to complete the test because he can't concentrate because he's so nervous!  I guess we will see!  I'll be glad when next week is over.  And I'll really be glad after May 11 when I am at home with him so we don't have to deal with the separation anxiety anymore.


"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

News...

After much prayer and discussion, a decision has been made.  I informed my work yesterday that May 11 will be my last day and I'll be staying home with Matthew to home school him.  This was a very hard decision for us because we just don't know what is going to happen and how we are going to make it financially but we do know that this is what Matthew needs.  We also know that the Lord will take care of us. Home schooling Matthew has been hard with me working and he really needs me home with him, teaching him.  There is just no way we can continue doing it the way that we have.  The whole family has been suffering, especially Lily.  She doesn't get the attention she needs from me because I'm so focused on trying to help Matthew. 

We have been seeing some improvement in Matthew since the surgery.  He is not quite as short tempered as he was and he's been having less meltdowns.  I'm praying this continues to improve and that the Lord will continue to give me lots of patience!

I do plan on trying to babysit to bring in some extra money.  I enjoy children and this will be a way that I can bring in some income and stay home.  I haven't found any children to keep yet, but I know the Lord will send some my way when the time comes.  Keep praying for us!

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Well, it has been almost a month since Matthew's surgery.  He is doing very well.  When we went back to Dr. Oliver for his follow up appointment he was about 90% healed and I imagine by now it is 99-100% healed. He hasn't complained much about his throat lately.  He complains about everything so if his throat was bothering him, I'm sure I would have heard about it. LOL  I love him but I guess he is just at that age.  Hormones are going crazy and he has got a big ol' attitude about everything.  But, we have seen some improvement since the surgery.  He is not quite as short tempered and when he does get mad, he can usually get over it alot quicker.  His focus is still not good.  He can't focus on school work to save his life! But, that may be most 12 year old boys!  The biggest problem we are having with him right now is focusing on school work and change.  He does not do well with change at all.  He never wants to leave the house, even to do fun stuff.  He would rather just stay at home.

Since this blog is not read by very many people, especially my coworkers, I will reveal what I am hoping will work out very soon.  We have been talking about how much Matthew is struggling with his school work still and how he really needs me to be home with him.  The only way we will be able to afford for me to stay home is if I bring in some kind of income.  Bryan suggested babysitting and the light bulb went off in my head.  So, I am looking into keeping kids at home (in home daycare is what they call it).  A friend of mine from church does this and I've been talking to her and getting some information.  A friend of mine has just had twins so I am waiting to hear back from her.  I may be keeping her babies at her house for a while before I start my daycare.  We are just praying about it and seeing how things work out.  Either way it will be great.  Matthew can go with me over there if I do that.  He won't like that as much, but it will be better with me there with him every day. 

We are still praying about what is happening with Bryan's position at church.  Our home church is possibly going to hire him as Associate Pastor/Youth Pastor but there are some other things going on that has put a hold on that decision.  Hopefully we will know in the next couple of weeks.  We are praying, praying, praying!  The Lord has looked out for us and carried us this far and I know He will continue if we stay faithful to Him.


"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Recovery

Well, Matthew had his surgery on Friday, March 2.  Everything went fine, just as planned.  He has had a pretty good recovery, although he still has a hard time swallowing food.  I've had to make alot of milkshakes and ramen noodles the past couple of weeks!  He's done pretty well but his throat is still very sore and he's having a hard time eating.  He hasn't had any bleeding or vomiting so those are really good things!

I am praying about a big decision.  Something that I have been praying about for a while but it seems like the Lord is just opening some doors and my dream could soon be a reality!  I don't want to say too much just yet because I don't want to jinx it and I also don't want my coworkers to know anything about it.  (Especially the bosses!) You can probably guess what it might be but I won't say until I know for sure what I am going to do.  Right now I'm about 90% sure.  Just pray for me!



"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Aspergers

Asperger's is still an unknown syndrome.  I have learned in speaking with the doctors and nurses dealing with Matthew's surgery that a lot of them have never heard of Asperger's.  When I explain that it is a form of Autism, you can see the recognition in their eyes.  They've heard of Autism, they may even know someone with Autism, so now they get it. I am just a little surprised that more people, especially in the medical field, do not know much about Asperger's.  Even in the field of education.

One of Matthew's teachers was very vocal about the fact that she didn't think anything was wrong with Matthew, she thought he was faking.  To look at him, you can't see anything wrong with him.  He's not sitting in the corner drooling.  He can walk, he can talk and he can run!  To talk to him, he knows enough to know how to act in front of people (thank God I've tried to instill at least some amount of respect for adults even if he doesn't show respect for me at times!), so he seems like a normal, well rounded kid.  And he is.  But, spend a day with him, maybe even a few days and you will see the Aspie come out in him!  He will either talk your head off about his favorite video game (currently transformers), or he will make up some silly joke that doesn't make any sense but he thinks is hilarious.  Or he will take something you say the wrong way.  Our family is a family full of pickers.  We like to pick and joke with each other.  It's how we show we love each other.  But, most of the time Matthew gets fired up mad at something that we said, but meant no harm.  Bless his heart, he had to be born into a family of pickers and jokers!  As an Aspie, that can be very confusing!  a bug is the biggest lie we know!

Asperger's is not a disease and it is not a curse.  My son is beautiful, sweet, kind and talented.  He loves life and he loves his family. Is he normal?  Well, let me ask you something.  Are you?  Do you know what normal is?  Who defines normal?  These are things that I am forced to ask myself.  These are things that people don't think about until they are faced with something like Asperger's.


"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Surgery

Well, it looks like surgery is in Matthew's future.  He's not too happy about it either!  A couple of weeks ago during one of his therapy sessions his doctor mentioned that he thought Matthew wasn't getting good sleep at night.  We had been talking about how hard it is to get him up in the mornings and then how slugglish he is during the day.  So, Dr. Kropp (the psychologist) referred him to an ENT specialist.  The ENT is one that our family has had dealings with.  He performed surgery on Lily when she was 4 (removed tonsils and adenoids) and then he performed sinus surgery on Bryan a little over a year ago.  So, we are comfortable with this doctor and we trust his opinion.  We finally got to see the ENT this week (Monday) and he said that Matthew's right tonsil and adenoids are enlarged.  He thinks it would be best to remove them.  I haven't gotten the call to schedule the surgery so I don't know when that will be yet. 

I am really hoping that this surgery helps him sleep better at night.  And I am really, REALLY hoping and praying that the surgery [and him sleeping better at night] will help his behavior.  I have done some research online and this is the main cause of sleep apnea in children.  I know how I am if I don't sleep well, and I can't imagine how I would feel after months of night sleeping well. 

On a more positive note, this Saturday is Matthew's birthday.  He will be 12.  It's so hard to believe that he is already 12 years old!  We are going to celebrate by going to the movies and out to eat.  He doesn't know it yet but we are getting him a cell phone.  We are actually giving him my old cell phone for a trial run because we are not sure how he will be with a cell phone.  This will be a good way for him to communicate with me during the day while he's at his grandparents' house.  He calls me at work alot with questions so this will be better.  I think a little responsibility will be good for him.


"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Update

An update on Matthew:

We have made some changes hopefully for the good.  Matthew has been seeing a psychologist since the end of December.  We really like him and Matthew enjoys going to therapy.  The doctor also has a therapy dog (a solid white German Shepard) that sits in on the sessions so Matthew likes that too!  I feel that the therapy has been really good for him.  Something that this doctor has mentioned that hasn't dawned on me is that Matthew may have sleep apnea.  Which would cause alot of the problems Matthew has been having.  It wouldn't be the cause for everything but it could be making things worse.  So, he has referred us to an ENT doctor to check that out.  We will see that doctor mid February and I am anxious to see what he thinks.

Also, we made a decision that was risky but I think it was the right thing.  We took Matthew off of all of his medication.  I spoke with the psychiatrist about it before I did it and he agreed that it would be worth a try.  I've been praying about what to do and I just felt a peace about doing this. I just feel that the age he is at right now, hormones are starting to kick in, and that, mixed with the medication, is just causing more harm than good.  He has been off of the medicine for 4 days and so far things have been better (I'm knocking on wood here!).  I'm hoping and praying that we are starting to see the light at the end of the long, dark and scary tunnel! (I'm seeing more of my Matthew!)

Home school is going good.  It's not perfect, but it seems like every week it gets a little bit better.  He is a little behind but we are working on getting caught up.  He does like it much better than going to public school.  I keep telling him that he has to do well and get his work done or he will have to go back to public school (that motivates him to try harder!). 

I know that we will still have rough days but I sure am thankful for each and every good day that we have!

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1




"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19